We all have that moment when we got so angry we just couldn’t hold ourselves from saying mean or harsh words towards our beloved ones. Or maybe we didn’t say anything but we gave them a silent treatment.
As if things would turn better if we did so.
As if we would get what we want by doing so.
I’m not going to write tips on how to have a better outburst when anger strikes you. No.
I just wonder what would I do if I just vented my anger to my beloved ones, but before I had the chance to apologize or make it up to them, they’re gone.
Just like that, and what I have with me is just a huge regret I will never forget and no matter how loud I cry or say sorry they would never bring that person back to me.
Yes, I’m talking about death.
Sometimes we got so mad at someone that we just can’t ‘let it go.’ But once they’re gone, we looked back and hoping if only we could just hold ourselves at that time and forgive that person for whatever fault they had done. IF ONLY.
Hopelessly wondering what if… what if… and what if…
We never know when will time stop us. Stop us from looking at our beloved ones, smiling, feeling our toes, tasting tasty delicacies, feeling the warmth of sun, feeling the raindrops falling on our skin, or even, stop our heartbeat, our breath, our journey in life.
We will never know when will time stop the people around us too. We just suddenly lost the time to smile more, to give a goodbye kiss, to say that everything’s gonna be alright because we’ll meet again eventually. Somewhere. Somehow.
If I could choose, I only wish that I had the time to say a proper goodbye to everyone that’s leaving. Or those whom I left behind, someday.
Because although most of the times it is unavoidable, still, I hate if I have to carry this thing around with me: